The Madness of a Lunar Eclipse
by Icy Metal and Frost Blue Roses
Summary: This is generally what happens to Saïx during an eclipse. The other members don't want to keep an eye on him and convince Xemnas to look after the Luna Diviner for the day. Between Saïx going insane, stray cats out to plot number VII's downfall, and a highly amused Xemnas, what could possibly go wrong? Oneshot.


**Author's Note: I got this idea from a video on YouTube and decided I should write a little fic about what happens to Saïx during a lunar eclipse. Enjoy! :D In the video, it was Saïx with Marluxia keeping an eye on him but I'm mixing it up so it's Saïx and Xemnas is following the Luna Diviner around with a video camera. XD Before you ask, I found this video when I looked up Saïx Puppy cosplay (I didn't realize people even cosplayed that!) Plus they originally asked why Axel wouldn't love him ("him" being Marluxia)**

**And yes, I know eclipses don't go on all day, but I'm gonna drag it out even long after the eclipse is over! XD Torment for Saïx! :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.**

**Leave me a review! Leave me a review! Leave me a review! Please?**

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"Superior, it's that time of month again."

Xemnas resisted groaning loudly at the voice, whether it was the voice's owner or the statement itself that got him annoyed he can't be sure. "What would you want me do about it, number XI? Issue an order to avoid Larxene for the next week?"

Marluxia shook his head. "She's done with that. It's about time for Saïx to go through something similar, though."

"That... doesn't sound right..."

"There's a lunar eclipse happening tomorrow and I am _not_ going to tolerate following him around to make sure he doesn't hurt himself! Again!" the other Nobody cried out, a strange gleam coming to his eyes as memories of the last time an eclipse took place. Xemnas shook his head. "Very well, then. If you're too frightened by it..."

"You weren't here the last time it happened!" Marluxia cried. "Saïx disappeared for most of the day and I tracked him down in Wonderland terrorizing the Mad Tea Party! If you think Saïx is no trouble during an eclipse, take care of him yourself!"

"Very well."

"Oh, and for craps and giggles, video the whole thing and fill me in on what happened while I take care of that mission in Olympus Coliseum that I've been putting off for the past two weeks," the fuchsia haired Nobody said, pulling a video camera from his pocket and passed it to his Superior and disappeared through a dark corridor.

_It's just one day,_ Xemnas thought to himself. _How bad can Saïx be?_

***That next morning***

Waking up that morning, Xemnas clumsily rolled out of bed to ready himself for a day of tailing his second in command. However, when Xemnas went for his boots, he found holes had been chewed into them. _What the name of Kingdom Hearts-? Oh, my... Saïx better not have!_ His train of thought was temporarily sidetracked as the sound of muffled growling and chewing reached his ears. Shaking off what traces of sleep were left in his system, Xemnas reached for the nightstand to retrieve the video camera and turned it on. Getting down on his knees, Xemnas lifted the sheets of his bed and stuck the camera underneath, amber eyes widening slightly at finding the blue haired berserker lying on his belly, chewing on another Organization member's boot.

"... Saïx?" Xemnas ventured to ask, jumping backward when the other Nobody snapped to attention and regarded his Superior.

"Good morning, Superior. Is there something I can assist you with?" Saïx asked in his usual calm voice, as if he had no recollection of what had just transpired. In fact, the berserker seemed oblivious to his surroundings, all Saïx knew was that he was talking to the Superior.

"Get out from under there, Saïx," Xemnas sighed, sensing this is only the beginnings of what Saïx is going to put him through. Crawling out from under the bed, Saïx, cast a wild eyed glance at the leather boot he had been gnawing on and then looked to his Superior's feet and took note of the holes.

"Uh... Did I...?"

"Don't, Saïx. Just don't," the white haired Nobody sighed, turning off the camera after briefly lowering it to record the large holes and his toes hanging out of them.

Walking through the hallways in silence, Xemnas did a quick look over of his companion and took note Saïx's boots were absent, but the usual calm expression on the Nobody's face remained. Hmm. Doesn't seem like Saïx is feeling the effects of the eclipse yet.

Saïx stopped dead in his tracks, yellow eyes widening in what Xemnas could only identify as excitement. "**CAT**!" Saïx screeched, summoning a dark corridor and disappearing faster than the Superior could turn on the camera to record Saïx's newfound erratic and bizarre behavior.

"Oh, great. Now I have to find him," the Superior sighed, summoning a dark corridor himself walked out in to the Grey Area where he knew everyone would be.

"If you're looking for dog boy, I'd go look in the kitchen," Larxene said without looking up to regard the older Nobody's entrance. "He ran in here screaming like a madman earlier, ran laps around the room, and vanished."

Without one word to the temperamental woman, Xemnas turned to head for the castle's kitchens in hopes of catching the azure haired man before he could harm himself. And sure enough, the Luna Diviner was where Larxene said he'd be... sitting on the counter with his face smooshed up against the window situated above the sink with a look of longing etched across his face.

Xemnas sighed, turning the camera on again to video the kitchen's other occupant, seeming to know what was on the other man's mind.

"Saïx, you're not allowed outside today."

The Luna Diviner responded to his Superior's voice by pulling back and aiming a downtrodden expression his way and pointed at the window. "But the cat...!"

"No. You're not allowed outside today," the platinum haired Nobody said, a tone of finality in his voice. Saïx responded by climbing off the counter and took a seat at the table before slamming his head down and didn't move or say anything, much to Xemnas' amusement.

***A few minutes later***

"I'm going to make myself a drink," Xemnas announced, wondering if the blue haired Nobody would request something as he went to take a cup from the cabinet.

"Hey, Xemnas! Hey, Xemnas!" Saïx cried, getting his Superior to look up and over to find Saïx decided to break his silence and was now standing by the window again, pointing at something outside. "It's out there! Mocking me!"

Quirking an eyebrow in curiosity, he asked, "What's out there?"

"The cat!"

Deciding to get a look at what was irking the other man, Xemnas approached his second in command. "The cat? The cat is out there...?"

By this point, Saïx was pointing frantically at the cat on the ground far below. "It's out there!" Saïx wailed and Xemnas' amber eyes finally found a grey cat prowling the castle grounds.

"Oh, screw it! I'm goin' out!" Saïx said finally, summoning a dark corridor and disappeared, appearing moments later on the ground far below the kitchen window. Teleporting down after his charge for the day, Xemnas was in time to video the cerulean haired berserker running after the cat. "Cat!" Saïx shouted before grabbing hold of the animal and picking it up, holding it over his head in triumph before cradling it and trotting over to where his Superior stood with a smile. "Now I will take it back to my lair where I shall feast upon its flesh!" he said with mock wickedness.

"I told you you're not allowed outside!" Xemnas scolded. "Put the cat down!"

"But... the cat!" Saïx whined in an uncharacteristically high pitched voice.

Xemnas wouldn't be budged in his resolve. "Put the cat down!"

"Or what?"

"You're not allowed-! Cats are not allowed in the castle! And you're not allowed outside. You're in big trouble," he chided, attempting to hide his smile behind the camera.

The Luna Diviner reluctantly did as he was told and placed the cat back on the ground at his feet, running his fingers over its coat for a moment before the creature scampered off. "It was worth catching you. Goodbye, my love. I shall miss you," he bemoaned, much to Xemnas' amusement.

***A few minutes later***

After losing track of Saïx for the second time that day, Xemnas finally found his second in command standing in the entrance to the castle eating a bag of chips he must've gotten during the time he ditched the platinum blonde. "I'm eating these chips in wait of the cat to come by the door," Saïx explained. "If she does, I can catch her and I won't be in trouble," he added before dropping the bag of chips on the floor.

Xemnas had to smirk at this and snorted at the display. "Why'd you drop the bag, Saïx?

The other Nobody merely stared at the bag a moment before whining, "I don't know! I miss her so much!"

Xemnas chuckled, not needing clarification on who "she" is.

"There she is!" Xemnas' companion burst out suddenly and reached for the cat conspicuously out of his reach. "No! Don't run from me!" Saïx wailed.

Turning the camera in the direction that occupied the other's attention, he zoomed in on the spot, asking, "Where'd she go?"

"Behind the bush."

"Hmm," Xemnas hummed.

"I named her Mrs. Fluffles," Saïx sniffled, getting Xemnas to move the camera back so the blue haired man was in the shot, jumping in surprise at the close up of the X-shaped scar on Saïx's forehead. "Whoa! Zoomed in on your face!" he exclaimed, chuckling when Saïx hid his face and tried not to grin and only made a laugh escape Xemnas' lips at the display.

"She's my kitty," Saïx said finally, a sort of strange gleam coming to his eyes at the mention of the feline.

"Pick up the bag," the Superior reminded him.

"Okay," he sighed, bending over to retrieve the bag of chips. "Mrs. Fluffles! She's my kitty!"

***Several minutes later***

At this point, Xemnas wasn't sure if he could take any more of this nonsense from Saïx, but decided to play along with the Luna Diviner for the moment. "Why is it that I can't get Namine to love me?" he wondered aloud, perking Saïx's attention.

"'Cause you're stupid, fat, and ugly!" Saïx burst out, falling into a mad laughing fit and stopped abruptly enough to startle the Organization leader and held out a gloved hand to him. "Chip?"

Xemnas paused, now understanding what Marluxia was saying when he was in charge of following Saïx the last time there was an eclipse. "I'm on a diet, you fool!" Xemnas groaned, breaking out into fake sobs.

Saïx merely made a face at this new information and asked, "That what made you cry? I thought what made you cry is you're stupid, fat, and ugly!"

***Three minutes later***

Xemnas was deciding he was close to losing his mind in nearly the same way that Saïx was at the moment, but instead opted to push the thoughts out of his mind and occupy the azure headed Nobody. "Saïx? Will you get me a drink? Soda?" he finally said, finding it a good way to divert the scatterbrained man's attention. For the moment, anyway.

"Sure. Is this where the cups are?" he said, pointing to a cabinet.

"Yes, that's where the cups are," the Superior confirmed, watching Saïx reach over to retrieve a cup and wave his free hand around it as if it were some sort of object to be boasted.

"Is it? Is it a cup?" Xemnas asked sarcastically, trying to sound as if he himself were unsure of the vessel in Saïx's hands.

"Yes. Is this what you want?" he replied, holding up a bottle of coke.

"Yes."

Taking the lid off, Saïx poured the beverage, a strange smile creeping up on his face and looked up at the camera. "It makes splooshy noises! Eee!" he squealed, pausing a moment before pouring a little bit more into the cup. "That enough?"

"... Okay." Xemnas murmured, reprimanding his companion before he could take a swig from the bottle.

"No, Saïx," Xemnas said.

Saïx pouted. "But I... I..."

"No. You don't drink from the container. That's bad," he interjected, watching satisfactorily as the berserker chose to put the cap back on the bottle.

***Ten minutes later***

"Saïx, I told you not to go outside!" the Superior reprimanded.

"The cat... Look how adorable it is!" the berserker gestured to the cat helplessly.

"Saïx, I told you not to go outside!" Xemnas said again.

"So adorable!" Saïx whined.

"No! We told you not to go outside today!" Xemnas cried out.

Saïx chose to ignore the Superior for the moment, choosing instead to glance down at the cat. "What's that mean, Mrs. Fluffy? Are you hungry? Are you dying?! Don't die, Mrs. Fluffy!" Saïx cried, addressing the feline contentedly lazing around on the ground near the blue haired Nobody's feet.

Xemnas, finally getting a good enough look at the creature, recognized it as the pet of a young Keyblade wielder and vaguely recalled hearing the youth calling the animal by name. "Its name is Kira!"

"Who cares?"

"It's a Heartless cat!"

Saïx seemed stubbornly set in his own resolve of the cat. "Who cares? My kitty!"

"Or is it a Dream Eater cat?"

"I don't know! It's a cat!"

"What are those stupid Dream Eaters, anyways?"

"Don't know but they're delicious," Saïx answered, grinning like an idiot at the strange look that crossed Xemnas' features at the statement.

Xemnas chose to go along with his earlier plan of going along with it for now and said, "... They look like piñatas." A look at what Saïx was doing gave him pause as a thought ran through his head. _Since when did Saïx own a cell phone?_

"Texting my daddy," Saïx explained glancing up to look at the camera.

This intrigued Xemnas. "You have a dad?" he asked, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

"Axel's my daddy. He wants to know where I am and what I'm wearing," Saïx grinned, looking down at the phone and frowned. "No, I'm not wearing a strapless thong. That's weird," he murmured before Xemnas could even question Axel being his father when he's about the same age as number VIII, but dropped it, instead blaming Saïx's unusual outbursts on the eclipse before directing the berserker back into the castle.

***Half an hour later***

For the third time that day, Xemnas lost Saïx only to find him outside again, this time with an idiotic grin on his face that made Xemnas want to smash Saïx's head through a wall. Repeatedly. And kill the cat that occupied the blue haired Nobody's arms. "Back inside the castle, Saïx," Xemnas ordered.

"No! Me and Mrs. Fluffles will live forever! We'll live forever!" Saïx cried, running away from the castle with the cat still in his arms only to get blocked by a wall.

"You can't bring the cat with you!" Xemnas said, stifling his guffaws with his free hand as he trailed after his companion.

"There's a wall! No! I beg of you! No!" Saïx acted as if he were about to become a murder victim and wailed, holding the feline closer to his chest protectively.

"Give me the cat," Xemnas said, holding out his free hand. "Give me the cat, come on." Saïx reluctantly did as the Superior bid of him and handed over the cat. "This is for your own good, Mrs. Fluffles," Saïx sniffled, keeping his yellow eyes trained on the feline in the platinum blonde's arms.

"Come on," he said, placing the cat down. "Bye-bye, kitty."

Here, Saïx broke down into a fit of tears. "Mrs. Fluffles! No! NO! She's still here-"

Xemnas shook his head at the man and pointed to the castle doors, ordering, "Back in the castle."

"She's still here but I feel like she's left," the berserker sniffed sadly.

Xemnas just knew Saïx's temporary mindset was testing his patience, but tried to keep himself calm, pointing more forcefully at the castle. "Go back to the castle," he said again and Saïx obeyed, trudging along the path leading to the doors with his Superior close behind, glancing over his shoulder, saying, "I hate you so you know." He took a few steps before turning to face Xemnas again. "I really do. ... Are we having chicken tonight for dinner?"

Xemnas shook his head. "No."

"I hate you more," he said forlornly.

"We're having spaghetti."

Saïx turned to face Xemnas yet again. "I still hate you even though it's spaghetti."

***One hour later***

Xemnas just knew the other Organization members were behind this when he was told to lead Saïx to Marluxia's garden to a small patio occupied by a mini fridge. "Saïx, you're only allowed to eat what's in that mini fridge," he said simply.

"Is it food?" Saïx's unnaturally colored eyes glittered hopefully with a small smile tugging at his lips.

"It's not food."

Saïx shrugged his shoulders slightly. "Oh. Okay." With that, he turned to investigate the fridge door. "It's moving. That's not good," he said, no denying the curiosity in his voice.

"Open it."

Saïx obeyed and opened the fridge to find the cat that's been driving him to go against his orders not to set foot outside the castle that day.

"Oh, my God! It's Mrs. Flufflestein! My kitty, Mrs. Flufflestein," Saïx squealed, taking on a high pitched voice in his delight.

"You have to eat Mrs. Flufflestein. Eat the Heartless," Xemnas chuckled, nearly bursting into a fit of laughter at the crestfallen look on Saïx's face.

"Cold, heartless bastard! I hate you! I hate you!" the berserker bellowed.

"Eat the Dream Eater," the Superior said, wondering what the other Nobody's reaction would be and surprised to find Saïx paused, narrowing his eyes in thought.

"Could I have her with fries?" Saïx questioned after a moment.

Xemnas grinned. "You could have her with barbeque sauce."

"Damn. You old heartless evil-! Run, Mrs. Fluffles!" Saïx bellowed, chasing after the feline. "Run! Run like the wind!"

"..."

"I'm free! I'm free! I'm free! Whee!" Saïx screeched, flailing his arms above his head wildly and ran about the castle grounds screaming and grinning like a madman who had just broken out of the loony bin. Xemnas could do nothing more than watch with amusement of the berserker going nuts (but not in the way everyone is afraid of, mind you).

After a while of running and causing general mayhem around the garden, Saïx paused, pointing an accusatory finger at the cat. "Mrs. Flufflestein, you witty little feline! She ignores me, but she loves me," Saïx grinned before turning to address the cat saying, "I know you love me."

"Hmm," Xemnas hummed, unsure of what to do about the other man.

***That night***

"How'd it go babysitting Saïx, Xemnas?" Marluxia asked the moment he found the Organization leader.

"How did your mission to Olympus Coliseum go, number XI?" Xemnas countered, a smug smile tugging at his lips at his subordinate's sudden lack of color in the face. "Don't think for a moment that I don't read the mission reports."

"What about the footage? Was Saïx any worse than last time?" Marluxia immediately changed the subject. "... And what happened to your boots?"

"Saïx is what happened! He ate them! He was not as bad as you made him out to be and he never left the World That Never Was. The only times he left the castle was to terrorize a stray cat. It was odd to say the least," the Superior replied, pinching the bridge of his nose when the other Nobodies, Saïx included (though he was possibly there only to refresh his memory since he never seems to have any recollection of what he does in the mindset he was in earlier that day), filed into the room to see the footage. By the time the footage was over, everybody except Saïx and Xemnas were laughing at what transpired while everyone was out on missions, Saïx trying to make himself shrink into his seat with his hood pulled tightly over his head to hide his embarrassment.

"That is enough! I don't want to hear one more word regarding the events that happened today and Saïx is to be left be. Understood?" Xemnas finally ordered, much to Saïx's relief as the jokes were brought up short.

Well, at least Saïx is back to his normal self again... until the next time there's an eclipse.

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**Author's Note: How'd I do, guys? Did I do good? Bad? Awesome or just plain horrible and that this fic is an abomination to the fandom? Let me know! Leave me a review! Leave me a review! Leave me a review! Please?**


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